why did i drink so much, and smoke so much oh.
i’m dedicating my time and money this summer to getting some serious tattoos.
musty air. dark room. noisy. two rows of poeple staring at me. plate put down. candle burning. i think of you. i can’t see your face. you are not there. i put my head down, close my eyes, think for a moment. it goes dark. its silent for just one moment. then everyone cheers. i bust out a smile. rub my hands through my hair and pretend that nothing is bothering me. im not comfortable with...
blue lips, blue veins.
i miss you.
& I’m sorry if I haven’t written to you in a while. it’s just that life gets in the way of living. it’s just that my fingers were stuck together. it’s just that all the paper in the world caught fire.
wish this babe was my pops.
you can be as logical, rational and objective as you want, it’s not going to change the way you feel. put it this way; you telling me that lunch is in an hour doesn’t make me less hungry. listen to me. i was thinking about you.
its as simple as someone smiling at you as you get on the bus, they took the time to have that human connection. be aware
note to self:
money doesn’t talk it swears at you.
to loose track of.
i have this letter, that i hope gets caught up in my things so that one day it gets mailed and so it goes unannounced to you.
the sun came out today almost as if it was summer again. the warmth surrounded me. it was beautiful. enchanting. magical. the summer days that were spent walking the pavement of downtown. scurrying to to errands. taking you to work. that morning with me in my black dress. hair pulled back. my cheeks rosy from embarrasement. the guy inside the cafe knew. the smile on my face told all. told of all...
running out of breath.
keep me in your heart for a while.
love can you hear me?
&for the first time since being here i looked out my window watching the snow fall, and couldn’t help but smile as i took a drag off my cigarette.
I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love...– Voltaire (via thepleasuretheprivilege)
just another monday morning. just another day. do i feel different no. has any epiphanies come to me no. has anything changed no. im still me, with the same annexations, sadness, happiness, and childhood clumsiness.
please do, take of your shoes, and your socks and stay a while
just walk on the darkside.
walk with me, come away with me.
i mean i think you really do like me.
you are vague at the best of times.
& that is all i will ever get.
the little cracks they escalate.
for so long its slipped, i don’t want it to this time. hold on.
to be a fish
i don’t want to be just any other fish swimming along an endless path of sea, of hurt, happiness, breaking, laughing, crying, one night loves, sneezes, accidents, falls, climbs, success. to be a fish in the sea, the thought so empty, so soulness, just meandering tinkering, stumbling along until something halts you stops you dead in your tracks. to be a fish. to have meaning. to have a purpose...
& its not that i do not want to talk to them,
its just that i sometimes have this blockage with initiating conversation, so i just sit staring at your online status hoping that you will just say hi.
she is like a porcelain doll, if she cracks you can see what’s underneath